Free Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage & Prevent Drifting

Marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts, but let’s be honest—it’s also one of the most challenging.

Doing life with my husband has been the greatest gift, but it has also exposed things in both of us that needed softening and strengthening. That’s one of the beautiful, but sometimes difficult, gifts God gives us on this sacred journey: marriage becomes a place where He refines us through love.

We met when I was just 18, and through college life, learning to buy and create a house into a home, three babies, multiple adoptions that didn’t come to fruition, exercising our faith, and many ups and downs in between… we’ve experienced our entire adult lives together. We have unpacked one another’s baggage and lived behind the scenes through inner healing, celebrations, the peaks and the valleys. Along the way, we have learned a lot.

Hard seasons are inevitable—life will test us, and marriage will stretch us. But when we take preventative steps and lay a strong foundation, the storms don’t have the power to uproot us. My husband and I have gone to counseling. We’ve walked through seasons where we had to actively fight for love. There were times it didn’t feel like things were working—because they weren’t. Yet what carried us wasn’t perfection, but the groundwork we had laid: small, consistent practices that nourished our souls and our relationship. Those rhythms have kept us steady, pulled us back to one another, and deepened both our love and our commitment.

Our wedding in 2009… the best thing to which I ever gave my resounding “yes!”

I’ve always been an advocate of prevention. Prevention can save our children from abuse and exploitation when we give them the tools to speak up. Prevention can help us fend off disease when we eat clean and move our bodies with gentle consistency. And prevention can save our marriages—catching the drift before we find ourselves drowning in the deep end.

My husband and I have been through seasons where we felt worlds apart—where we both strongly disagreed on big decisions, where outside pressures weighed heavy, and where “fighting for love” wasn’t just a nice phrase, it was our reality. But through those times, we’ve also seen how God can take two imperfect people, full of flaws and differences, and knit them together in deeper ways than we imagined.

And here’s the best part: it doesn’t take a big budget or expensive date nights to strengthen your marriage. Some of the most powerful tools are completely free.

Here are practices that have helped us reconnect in our most challenging moments and prevent drift before it happens:

1. Worship Together

Inviting God into the center of your marriage changes everything. Worship softens hearts, reminds you of truth, and shifts the focus from who’s “right” to Who is holding you both. Whether it’s singing in your living room, listening to worship on a drive, or kneeling side by side in prayer, it’s hard to stay cold toward one another when you’re both looking toward Him.

2. Go on Prayer Walks Together

There’s something powerful about moving side by side instead of facing each other across a table. Prayer walks have become one of our lifelines. Walking together takes off the pressure, and praying out loud invites God into the very places we feel stuck. It reminds us that we’re not fighting against each other—we’re fighting for our marriage, together, with Him.

3. Create Judgment-Free Communication

One of the most freeing things you can offer your spouse is space to be honest without fear of backlash. We try to practice “I feel” statements rather than “you always” accusations. Saying things like, “I feel overwhelmed when…” allows us to share openly without putting the other on the defensive. Over time, this builds safety and trust—two things every marriage needs to thrive.

4. Hold Hands & Practice Affection Without Pressure

It’s easy for physical touch to become purely functional or, on the other side, pressured into intimacy. But simple affection—holding hands on the couch, hugging in the kitchen, a kiss before bed—says, I see you, I’m with you. Keeping room for non-sexual affection helps keep intimacy alive while creating a safe, pressure-free connection.

5. Affirm One Another

Words matter. They can tear down, or they can build the very foundation you stand on together. Affirmation in marriage isn’t about flattery—it’s about naming the truth you see in each other, especially when life feels heavy.

Not long ago, I was processing a painful situation with someone close to us who had deeply hurt me years before. I was sharing my feelings with my husband, and I’ll never forget what he said. He told me he was here for me, that if I wanted to share the details he would listen, but he also wanted me to know something even deeper: I didn’t need his validation. My feelings were valid simply because they were mine.

That moment meant the world to me. It showed me support that wasn’t codependent—it was rooted in respect and trust. I didn’t need him to tell me my emotions were “acceptable”; I just needed to know I was seen and loved. His words affirmed me in a way that brought healing, safety, and freedom.

When we affirm each other like that—acknowledging strengths, naming truth, and standing in support—we remind one another that we’re not alone. And that reminder is priceless.

6. Create Your Own Rituals

Every marriage has its own rhythm. For us, Valentine’s Day with little ones running around isn’t glamorous. But we’ve created our own ritual: after the kids go to bed, we make a big charcuterie spread, sit on the floor, and talk and laugh as long as we can stay awake. It’s simple, but it’s ours—and that makes it sacred.

Find your version of that—maybe Saturday morning pancakes, or evening tea on the porch. Rituals don’t have to be fancy to be meaningful.

A Few More Free Ways to Reconnect

• Laugh Together – Laughter breaks down walls. Watch a silly video, swap old stories, or play a board game.

  
  

• Serve Together – Whether it’s helping a neighbor, serving in God’s house, folding laundry, or cooking side by side, shared service unites you.

  
  

• Daily Check-In – Take five minutes each evening to ask, “What was the best and hardest part of your day?” It’s simple, but it creates a rhythm of connection.

  
  

• Pray Over Each Other Before Bed – Even a short blessing like, “God, thank You for my spouse. Give them peace tonight,” can anchor your hearts.

  
  

• Dream Together – Talk about your hopes for the next year, or even just the weekend. A shared vision strengthens your bond.

  
  

The Bottom Line

Strong marriages aren’t built on grand gestures—they’re built on the small, daily choices to stay soft toward one another, to listen, to affirm, and to lean on God together.

Prevention matters. Just like we safeguard our children with tools to speak up, or our health with simple, consistent care, we can safeguard our marriages with intentional daily practices that keep us close.

Marriage is a sacred journey of refining—God uses it to soften and strengthen us in ways nothing else can. And while it won’t always be easy, it will always be worth it.

So if your marriage feels stretched thin right now, start small. Hold hands. Pray together. Speak life into one another. Invite God back into the center.

Those tiny, intentional steps can change everything. You don’t have to be perfect, just present. Purposeful prevention is the game-changer every marriage needs!

💛 If you’re ready to strengthen your family rhythms and build a marriage that lasts, the Intentional Family eCourse will guide you step by step into faith-filled connection, healthy boundaries, and practical tools that bring peace back into your home.

✨ Or, if you’re looking for something simple but powerful to deepen intimacy, the Married Hearts Keepsake Journal gives couples a safe space to share, reflect, and create a record of love you’ll treasure for years to come.